It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
