I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
