just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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