I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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