the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
