piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
