theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
