tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
