is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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