OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
