Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
