so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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