look no pants
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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