I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
