Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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