i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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