just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
