Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
