I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
