but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
