But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize