You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's shark week go big or go home
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
