I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
