plz talk dirty to me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
