glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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