Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
