how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
