i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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