He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
