I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
