i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i will never coherently bang her
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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