I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
