Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
