if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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