In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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