I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
