I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
