I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
