You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
