I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
