I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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