I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
