his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
