Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
