Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
