yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
