we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
