Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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