I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
