I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
