Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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