clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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