its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
