Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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