O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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