I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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