Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
