i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize