I want to stick my p in your. b.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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