you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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