I wish my penis had an off switch
too bad you live with your parents still
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
